So I have this box, more like a tub that sits under my bed. It is full of memories: School report cards, every single birthday card I have ever gotten, my year 1 school book and photo’s of the ones I love. Many would think that this is weird but it is a way for me to remember those close to me when they are no longer near…….
Today while I was doing my English homework my mum gave me some old report cards from primary school that actually said I was good at maths (wonder what happened). So I stoped my English homework and headed for my room to put them into my box. As I was placing them into my display book with the rest of them, I decided to unpack the box and as many would say ‘what has happened in my life’.
Then I found those books your parent’s buy that has the first word you spoke or the first time you went for a walk by yourself. There I was reading it trying to imprint these dates in my head of the exact time I was born (4.48am) or the first time I crawled (8 months) and that page of quotes that things that people said when you were born, reading this page made me think about where my life was going and the loved ones I recently lost that I can’t imagine my life without.
Ever since January I haven’t been able to anything. I haven’t been able to pay attention in class because there is always something that reminds me about my Pa. Before I lost my Pa, I remember talking to him about what I would do once I finished school and what I wanted to be. He was so excited that I would be going to Qut and completing Start Program so start my career as an Account, but now I cant. My life is undecided and I can’t talk to him about it. One thing that keeps me strong is that my Nana is always there to make me feel better.
As I write this blog, I can’t help but cry and remember that day. It started out as any other of the school holidays. I was excited to go back to see my friends at school in a couple of days and to start working on my future. I remember being in my room getting dressed when mum comes in and tells me that I need to stay at home until the girls get home from a sleep over my other nana’s place. She told that she and dad were going to the hospital as something had happened to Pa that night and that all the children were advised to go to the hospital. I didn’t know how to react and after they left I spent more that half and hour crying and figuring out how to tell my sister that they needed to come home right away. You know what you have to tell someone some bad news that you will cry, so I had prepared myself to not cry as I called my nana to ask her to bring the girls home as I needed to talk to them, but as you can guess I didn’t even make it to morning nana. So the girls came home and I told then what happened. I swear I went through a box of tissues myself and nothing much had actually happened yet. So we continued on with what we had planned for that day, preparing our school bags, making sure everything was named and cleaning the house as we didn’t want to clean the next day. The phone didn’t stop ringing all day, with cousins, work members of my parents calling to know what had happened.
Then suddenly we heard a car pull up outside and dad coming in to collect us three girls to take us to the hospital. As I ran to get a jumper, I heard that home phone ring. It was my mum, I could tell in her voice that something had happened. I asked her what happened at the words I began to ball. The girls kept asking me what had happened but I couldn’t tell them. Then all I can remember is arriving at the hospital and dad leaving the way to his room. With a few breaks along the way to pull myself together we came to a small area of the hospital. There is saw my nana, mum, auntie and uncle huddled in a corner with thousands of scrunched tissues around them. I had to stay out side, I couldn’t bring myself to see him. I didn’t want to wreck the memories that I had by seeing him there. So I waited outside trying to call IGA to tell them that I couldn’t work, but like normal I couldn’t get through like usual, so I kept trying. Once again I had pulled myself together to talk to my boss but I couldn’t keep it in. Now every time I go to nana’s and pa’s I walk past his room and look at his terrible fashion he had and I know that he is above me watching me and leaving me in the right direction.
No comments:
Post a Comment