The World

For the past hour i have sat in my bed trying to sleep. And as you can tell by this blog, is that i haven't managed to do that. I can't go to sleep!!!! My brain is running at full capicity with the stupidest stuff and to be honest i can't handle this anymore.

I don't want to be here. I don't want to be in this town, this state, this country. I don't want to be anywhere. I want you all to forget about me. I am a shitty person and i can't function like this.

Last night someone said something to me. They said that i was amazing but the truth is that i am not. I am ordinary, just like everyone else. I can easily be replaced by another who is more confident, caring and fun to be around. Peoples lives would be easier without someone like me.

Today i spent the most wonderful day with someone i love so much. I let her into my drama, my mind frame. Sometimes i feel as though i can't function, that i can't be the person i want to be. I want to be that fun person, the one that people can count on, but considering my current brain path... I can't be that person to anyone.

I wish i could leave, just be by myself for a while without the need to think about others or myself. I want my brain to stop thinking. I wish i could make it stop.............

I try my hardest at things but they always end the same. This ultimatley leads me to do stupid things. I wish that i could leave and move away because with me being here everyones life will be impacted upon in a negative way having me in their lives.

So now i try to sleep again.....