2011

At the beginning of this year i made a list of my New Year’s resolutions and I am able to say that I am committing to sticking to them. One was to exercise more. Fitness is really important to me; I jog every second day along my local track or do a ‘teenage dream’ like fitness routine in my room. My eating habits have improved. I am eating lettuce on sandwiches, something that many in my family thought would never happen.

Another of my resolution was to work on my relationship with my family members. Since there is a high probability that I am may have to go to Ipswich for university, I feel the need to change my relationship with my nana. We visited her yesterday as it has been 1 year since her husband and my grandfather passed away. Something as simple as bringing flower or breaking up a fight between my younger cousins at the cemetery was something that I could see made a difference to her day. I truly love her even thought I might not show it every time I see her. She is an amazing person and in a way I hope that when I am her age that I will be just like her.

My third resolution is to work on and continue to maintain my relationships with my friends. I know that with finishing school that I have and will lose friends but I am ok with that. I just never expected it to happen as fast as it did. While on the other hand I have regained old friends. Recently there has been two main influences in my life, helping me decide what is right and what is wrong, things that I should let go of and things that I need to rebuild. They have made me realise something that I knew…. I don’t 100% need you in my life as painful as it may be. If others aren’t going to commit to being my friend then sorry, I don’t need you. I hope that in the future you will realise what you have lost in me plus a large majority of your other friends. I feel as though I shouldn’t even be saying this as it will let you understand that I will let go of you if you don’t wan’t me. Sometimes something as simple as a text message could change the way that you are seen. If you DON’T do something I am letting go, classing you as an acquaintance. There will be no more ‘Like a prayer Caitlin’. Instead there will just be Caitlin Smith and that is all you shall know me as.

Last of all, I have decided that this year it is all about me. No more thinking about what others think or attempting to rebuild friendships that can’t be rebuilt. I can’t be the person that I want to be thinking about others. I need to let go of things, breathe, and loosen myself up when around certain people. No more thinking about things from the past, I am focusing upon my future with those who choose to be a part of it.