So….. Where shall I begin???

First of all I think I need to thankyou to M.

You don’t know who much talking to you has made me feel better. You text me all time asking for updates which makes me laugh. I know you don’t want me to stuff it up like you did and instead to seize the opportunity and I think that I why you are helping me. Even thought I have known you for almost 17 years I never feel as though we would be having this conversation EVER. It is weird that you know me so well, we have only talk 4 times a year but I feel as though you understand me and that is something I need right now.

I feel as though I have lost myself and I can’t remember and can’t find the old me. I use to have my walls up protecting me from danger and as soon as this happens I let them done exposing myself to the danger and you are there to help me. You don’t know how much it means to me that you want to help, M.

I wish that we were this close 3 months ago when I needed you, we both were going through the same topics/problems. I feel as though I need to be there for you as we are both in the same boat and I promise that I will be there for you!!!! Your messages make me laugh and make me love myself and I never though I would get that from you. I knew you were different but I never thought you were like me (2/4). Hopefully it won’t be weird next time I see you, seeing that we both know each others secrets but instead lets us each have someone to talk to about it as we have no one else that we can.

I will be here for you M as I know they don’t understand.

Back to the finding myself…. I think I need to let go of everything and find myself. I never am thinking about what is in it for me but instead what others and what they will gain if I wait. I need to cut these strings that tie me to people and return back to the old me where I didn’t care about people opinion and thoughts. I loved myself then and I know others did to.

Also before i finish this blog i would like to give a shout out to Molly, Thanks for helping out on Friday. You don't know how much i love you.

Xx