I promised myself that I would never write on this blog again but I need a way to say what is trapped inside of me......

I counted down the days
I hated it
I wished I was with you instead

Semester one this year was full of questions for myself. What am i going to do with my life? and how am i going to get there?

Ipswich wasn't the greatest. While I was there I FELT CLOSER TO THEM THAT MY FRIENDS HERE and i shouldn't have felt that way. I tried to talk to you and you didn't reply. Just because I was not in Brisbane I felt as thought I was unwanted. I try so hard now to rebuild these friendships.

Last night was terrible. I hate myself so much. You said i was a great friend but I am not. I want you to myself and to not mix with them. You promised me and as we talked I couldn't help but cry. I thought i had lost you but you do care.

And now I lay in my room attempting to sleep but I can't because I am waiting for a message that will never come. I need you to tell me that I am not insane, that I am perfect they way i am.