It is my plan for the rest of school to get a summer body, so I've been running 3.5k every 2-3days with my friend Terrance down the road. A few weekends ago Cecil and I had a little bit of a fight well not really but he got angry at me for being too 'clingy' and i had to defend myself. While I was having this little crisis Terrance offered his help and since then we talk everyday and talk more than Cecil and I even though Cecil apologized and we are better than we have been in a long time. But I have this feeling whenever I see Terrance that he has other feelings for me other than a friend and Its mucking up my head. He holds me around the waist when someone is coming up behind us on a bike or to force me closer to him and i have to retreat to a reasonable distance. When we talk he talks about contemplating events when hes in the shower and when i ask whats wrong he says nothing I was just thinking about 'event=4km' and hes starting to scare me cause i do kind of like him but not the way i like Cecil. I like Terrance but I love Cecil.
FUCK GIRLS EMOTIONAL STABILITY
I just feel like going to a social and dancing all my worries away. I want a job. I want to feel happier. I do feel happier than in a while but this is just too much for me I was happy with one minty but now I feel greedy and slutty cause I havnt told Cecil that I run with Terrance...should I tell him...Im sure he won't mind...I hope he does and wants me to only run with him and then he may see me more. I would love to see Cecil more but he doesn't feel my heartache which longs to be with him when I see other girls with there boys and hear them talking about seeing them the next day and txting during class and I feel so lonely and I think that its the reason Im starting to lean towards Terrance because I miss feeling loved I miss intimacy I miss being held tight I miss passionate kisses I miss Cecil. I really miss you Cecil!!
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