Do you know?

Do You Know (Ping Pong Song)

DO YOU KNOW

Do you know?
Do you know?

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?
Do you know, do you know, do you know, do ya?
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

If birds flying south is a sign of changes
At least you can predict this every year
Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly
I can't get it to speak
Maybe if I knew all the things it took to save us
I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
Look in your eyes to see something about me
I'm standing on the edge and I don't know what else to give.

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?
Do you know, do you know, do you know, do ya?
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

How can I love you?
How can I love you?
How can I love you?
How can I love you?
If you just don't talk to me, babe.

I flow through my act
There's a question: Is she needed?
And decide all the man I can ever be.
Looking at the last 3 years like I did
I could never see us ending like this.

(Do you know?)

Seeing your face no more on my pillow
Is a scene that's never ever happened to me.

(Do you know?)

But after this episode I don't see
You could never tell the next thing life could be

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?
Do you know, do you know, do you know, do ya?
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?
Do you know, do you know, do you know, do ya?
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

(Do you know?)
(Do you know?)
(Do you know?)
(Do you know?)

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?
Do you know, do you know, do you know, do ya?
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?
(Do you know how it feels?)
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?
(Do you know how it feels?)

(Do you know? Do you know? Do you know? Do you?)
(Do you know? Do you know? Do you know? Do you?)

Mind...Can't Handle me!

It is my plan for the rest of school to get a summer body, so I've been running 3.5k every 2-3days with my friend Terrance down the road. A few weekends ago Cecil and I had a little bit of a fight well not really but he got angry at me for being too 'clingy' and i had to defend myself. While I was having this little crisis Terrance offered his help and since then we talk everyday and talk more than Cecil and I even though Cecil apologized and we are better than we have been in a long time. But I have this feeling whenever I see Terrance that he has other feelings for me other than a friend and Its mucking up my head. He holds me around the waist when someone is coming up behind us on a bike or to force me closer to him and i have to retreat to a reasonable distance. When we talk he talks about contemplating events when hes in the shower and when i ask whats wrong he says nothing I was just thinking about 'event=4km' and hes starting to scare me cause i do kind of like him but not the way i like Cecil. I like Terrance but I love Cecil.
FUCK GIRLS EMOTIONAL STABILITY

I just feel like going to a social and dancing all my worries away. I want a job. I want to feel happier. I do feel happier than in a while but this is just too much for me I was happy with one minty but now I feel greedy and slutty cause I havnt told Cecil that I run with Terrance...should I tell him...Im sure he won't mind...I hope he does and wants me to only run with him and then he may see me more. I would love to see Cecil more but he doesn't feel my heartache which longs to be with him when I see other girls with there boys and hear them talking about seeing them the next day and txting during class and I feel so lonely and I think that its the reason Im starting to lean towards Terrance because I miss feeling loved I miss intimacy I miss being held tight I miss passionate kisses I miss Cecil. I really miss you Cecil!!

Connection

Poems dont connect with me but for some reason this one does and i cant stop thinking about it.


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Finally has something in her treasure box...............

Weeks of anger

So, I know I said that I wasn’t going to blog for a while but something is pissing me off. I can’t just sit here and wait for you to come to me so I am doing something about it.

I thought we were over this, trying to make things better but nothing is happening. I can’t live like this anymore. It is driving me insane.

I feel like I am going backwards when I need to go forward. You tell me to be blunt, you like that but I am not that kind of person. Usually if something annoys me, I block it out and focus upon something else. This time however I can’t do that. I can’t sit by and watch this friendship disappear. Trust me I have tried.

I wish that time could go backwards so I could change how things ended. This would stop me hurting myself and others that I love because I am angry at you.

After last night I was going to say something but I couldn’t. Last night was the opportunity for many things, many questions to answer and the chance to see how people act under certain circumstances. None of the above was achieved.

I am fine just a couple of random breakdown every couple of days but this is just my way of living. There will always be little things that will piss me off but I just need to get over them.

I know this is not the best place to talk about this but you are not listening to me. There is possibly a chance that you will be pissed at me for writing more on this topic for everyone to see like you have in the past. So I will keep it plain and sweet.

Communication is a must…….

Dear all blogger and followers.

Tonight i decided to stop blogging for a while.
At the start of this year when we decided to create this blog i thought it was a good thing.
A place where people who knew me could understand what i was thinking and doing.
But now i realise it is not the best thing, or place for me.

This year i have lost myself, found myself and asked myself a lot of questions which i don't know the answers to. I feel as thought i have lost parts of me here and i think people know to much about me.
I have no more secrets to tell them.


All i needs is a little bit of space to breathe
and a little bit of freedom to be who i want to be
let me be me

Love means learning to let me go and spread my wings
you let me grow and live life you gotta let me be
let me be me