Last Saturday wasn't my night.
My brain is playing tricks on me. I recently see a trend when I log on to blogger, everyone seem to be saying what they want but I don't want to. Everyone has a box and within this box we have parts of ourself that we keep hidden from conflict. If we wish we can show someone or if we are private we keep them to ourself. I lost all of my treasures in my box, I thought I had a least one but it turns out that I don't.
Saturday I just needed to be by myself for a while, breathe in the cold Autumn air and relax. I knew that you suspected that something was up with me and that you wanted me to know that you were they for me but if I tell you, then I wont have anything in my box. I NEED something in this box. Something that makes me feel needed, an actual person, complex.
I feel empty. I should have grabbed onto you and not let go then maybe I would have found that missing treasure I thought I possessed. I saw this treasure as being a metaphor for our friendship. I remember the day I lost this treasure. I had longed for something to show me a new direction, give me hope. I was so excited that I had something. It was the simplest thing ever in the world but to me, it made me not feel empty for a while. If I could go back to last Saturday I wouldn't let go.
If I could be given a time machine to travel to any point in time I wouldn't waste it on the chance to star in an episode of Diagnosis Murder with Dick Van Dyke instead I would go back to last Saturday. Nothing else in my past matters more than last Saturday.
I want my Treasure back . If you can help, please do so I don't feel empty all the time.
No comments:
Post a Comment