If someone was to read my past posts ever since created this blog one would find that they all have something in common. The past year my mind has focused around one thing and now my mind is clear about what i want.
Every posting would say the same thing
"the street is two ways why can't we meet in the middle"
or
"I need you to help me help myself"
or
"Why can't this work out or go back to how it was?"
Recently coming back from Sony Camp i am able to understand things more clearly. Sony Camp was the one thing that i needed to make me realise that i shouldn't hold onto you like i have in the past. That it is time to move on and i am excited to do this.
There are many people out there how would hopefully, happily accept me for me and would be willing to put up with me and i can't get to this while i keep holding onto you.
OK, i am going to go all sappy and weird now and possibly jinx myself but i think i have found an open door. Someone who think that the way i am is normal and thinks it is funny and wants to know me more. The overall meaning is that i am happy where i am now. Everything that happened in the past will remain with me and i will never forget but for this to work with you and me and others i need to do this.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Today i began to write a recap about my adventures on Sony camp but i realised that if i do that i would be here for hours. As i sit here at my computer there are many crazy, wonderful and memorable moments that i have experienced within the past 4 days.
Through some events that occurred i was able to realise things that i need in my life.
1. I now know that you are there for me and that you mean what you say. Before i would question but after one of our many debrief i know that you do care. You are trying to make it better and i love you for that. I might not show my thanks back as well as others but believe me that you added to my Sony camp experience.
2. I realised that Megan and i need our space. After spending 4 days together the need to be apart from one another is evident but thanks you added to my Sony camp experiences.
3. You are amazing and you deserve someone back and i think you need someone. So two of us have decided to help. Leave it with us and we will sort it out. You added to my experience.
4. Everyone who went on camp was from different groups but we connected. We were able to be there for others in times of need and were able to to help. Together we made Sony Camp what it was.
5. I never realised how much i would miss the weird sounds that you made. The crying at 2 in the morning, grinding of your teeth, the need for a vomit bag...... I find myself being quiet as thought you are still behind me and that i need to be there for you even though you are not here. You made my experience.
6. Thank you. Whenever i needed someone to talk to you were there. Thanks for letting me cry upon you and that you understand what i am talking about and the need i have to sort this out. Good thing yo had your collection of napkins. You added to my Sony Camp experience.
7. Thanks for helping me out. We really don't know one another but i hope that we can. Without someone to talk to other than Megan i wouldn't know how i could have survived. Thanks for saying he was talking to me and not the bins. You added to my Sony Camp and helped me out of my dark times.
8. I have never talked to you about things from my past but you know and you allowed me to talk to you about it. Even with Jordan smacking us. Thank you, it meant a lot. You added to my experience
Through some events that occurred i was able to realise things that i need in my life.
1. I now know that you are there for me and that you mean what you say. Before i would question but after one of our many debrief i know that you do care. You are trying to make it better and i love you for that. I might not show my thanks back as well as others but believe me that you added to my Sony camp experience.
2. I realised that Megan and i need our space. After spending 4 days together the need to be apart from one another is evident but thanks you added to my Sony camp experiences.
3. You are amazing and you deserve someone back and i think you need someone. So two of us have decided to help. Leave it with us and we will sort it out. You added to my experience.
4. Everyone who went on camp was from different groups but we connected. We were able to be there for others in times of need and were able to to help. Together we made Sony Camp what it was.
5. I never realised how much i would miss the weird sounds that you made. The crying at 2 in the morning, grinding of your teeth, the need for a vomit bag...... I find myself being quiet as thought you are still behind me and that i need to be there for you even though you are not here. You made my experience.
6. Thank you. Whenever i needed someone to talk to you were there. Thanks for letting me cry upon you and that you understand what i am talking about and the need i have to sort this out. Good thing yo had your collection of napkins. You added to my Sony Camp experience.
7. Thanks for helping me out. We really don't know one another but i hope that we can. Without someone to talk to other than Megan i wouldn't know how i could have survived. Thanks for saying he was talking to me and not the bins. You added to my Sony Camp and helped me out of my dark times.
8. I have never talked to you about things from my past but you know and you allowed me to talk to you about it. Even with Jordan smacking us. Thank you, it meant a lot. You added to my experience
Sunday, September 12, 2010
I could offer you a world of gace...to make you feel my love
I feel like Marie Terrase When she fell in love with pacaso...there affair was passionate...but he never loved her back...and continued to love him after he left her...she never stopped loving him even when he died...
Friday, September 10, 2010
Life seemed like a Simple Plan
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
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